how does one post about this?

we lost kathleen in the early morning hours on march 25 and we lost my nana in the very late evening hours, hawaii time, the same day.  kathleen was staying at Benincasa, a gorgeous little hospice facility, family and friends nearby. nana had barely arrived in hawaii, but did see her two little grandchildren that evening, and i can only assume she felt the warm evening ocean breeze.

patrick and i are trying to catch up the sleep that an emotional few weeks has left us deprived of - and then i'll slowly catch up on the rest: thank yous, austin re-cap, baby planning, photos, etc.

leslie's gettin' tied to the hitchin' post!

this is where we'll be ...

brunch club celebration

colleen from brunch club is due in may and last sunday tara hosted a brunch at her home in celebration of colleen being almost-a-mother!  i didn't take photos, as tara is a talented photographer and assured me she took pics.  so i plan to steal hers and then show you.

she developed a beautiful menu including:

• citrus fruit infused water (it was so beautiful, and there is no pic
• banana punch (umm, amazing)
• goat cheese and onion frittata
• fruit plates (where did she find such good fruit this time of year?)
• bacon
• blueberry scones with lemon curd
• orange knots

tara's photos:

she really outdid herself!

and ... look at that pretty milkglass. 

cuteness. sweetness. babyness.

such sweet things for little baby larkin!

it felt like package after package arrived at our doorstep these last few weeks! what sweet people you are!baby larkin is such a lucky little girl!  jo sent her sweet little organic pieces for when baby is not feeling so pink, trishy sent birdie inspired items from quiltish on etsy, kat kat chose kicky pants brand bamboo for the bambina, and courtney went all-girl with a pink, model themed, tee français! 

i like to hold up the clothes and make them dance around for patrick, "hi da da, i'm a little girl, hug me!!!!" he just stares at me.

shamrock shuffle

valerie, mark and me - pardon my pulled up shirt (needed warm pocket access)

even though i'm still a little shy of 6 months pregs, when shamrock shuffle registration was still open i though for sure i'd be too uncomfortably big to run come march!  once i realized that i totally could do it, the race was sold out. 

no big deal, as i had already lost any running conditioning that remained (if i miss a week, it's brutal, and let's just say, i've missed more than a week!).  so i figured it'd be the perfect opportunity to give a little back to the running comunity!

the weather looked like it was going to be brutal.  earlier in the week it was gorgeous for march - in the 60's and even sunny!  but snow and sn'rain (wintry mix) was forecasted for the weekend, and delivered ALL day saturday. horrible! race morning was raining.  but it managed to stop right about 6:30am, volunteer call time, and it didn't snow or rain the rest of the day!  actually great conditions for running, but reeeeeealllly cold for volunteering!

it ended up being freezing (almost) but i had great partners and it was tons of fun!  (i was wearing a layering tank top, a long sleeve half zip running top, a pullover fleece, another half-zip running top WITH a hood, a waterproof/windproof running jacket, a big down jacket, and my volunteer shirt - that's 7 layers.  plus i had handwarmers in my gloves and in my hunters). after we finished setting up our station, we sat in the warming bus for about 15 minutes until the runners started coming!

all done!

- photos from co-volunteer mark

(holly, he's in the first photo, does he remind you of BQ?)

family update

patrick got word friday that his mom's condition had declined further.  he needed to get back to his mom quickly, but plane tickets were outrageous last minute and 10 hours via car sounded better to him than 12 hours via uncomfortable train (overnight is really hard when you've just done it recently and on the other hand 12 daylight hours is a long, long train ride). so he headed back east saturday, via road trip.

i woke up super early that morning (awoke at 3:30am and finally decided to do something with myself at 4:30am - which is, by far, just not my usual rise and shine) and packed up some treats for patrick's drive, and then some little eastery goody bags for the family.  i had starting planning a big easter basket with the easter items, but felt this was a better time to send along.  without the actual basket yet, individual brown paper bags it was.

couldn't sleep! didn't know what else to do with myself.

i was so worried about p driving such a long way under the circumstances.  but he made it, safe and sound.  his dad was released from the hospital the same day.  but i don't really have an update on how john is doing other than that. the latest for our sweet kathleen, as of sunday night, is that she's struggling.  my heart is just breaking. 

just spoke to nana, and we talked for a good while.  plans for hawaii are still on - as my dad explained in the earlier post comments.  nana says she's taking it day by day, but that the nurse who will be traveling with her is pretty excited!

thanks everyone for the caring comments from earlier!
i'm turning comments off for this one.

this is exactly patrick

i am so in love with this photo of patrick.

i stare and stare and stare at it.

the deep line in his chin is the same.

even his hair is the same.

like exactly the same.

kathleen, nana, and john

it has been one of those 'can you believe this is happening all at once?' kind of weeks.  it shouldn't be about us, but i will say, we've been dealing with a lot. especially patrick.  wasn't sure if i was going to post about this, but here we go:

part 1, kathleen:
last week we received some news that patrick's mom had taken a turn for the worse.  we took a last minute overnight train to rochester monday night and were there the next morning.

kathleen's cancer (an agressive form of cancer, small cell lung cancer - SCLC, the same kind my mom had) has come to the point where no additional cancer treatments will be administered. the family spent the week helping kathleen get more comfortable, learning about and selecting an in home hospice option, and generally caring for kathleen. 

it was a very long and tough week for the family, and also a very full house of relatives who flew in, plus there was the additional activity of drop by visitors. and any time you cram family together like that in a high stress situation (in a one bathroom farmhouse, i might add), you run the risk of consequences such as: arguments, yelling, tension, tempers and general nerves. we got all of these.  emotions were running really, really high.

i worked the week in ny and stayed until sunday. unfortunately as i left for honeoye falls monday evening without notice, there were no back-ups in place to cover my responsibilities at work.  so i was spending long days on deadlines from my "eastern office."  not ideal, as i would have loved to have spent more time with the family, but i could take little breaks here and there and help out where i could. patrick and i were the first there, but aunt judy, amanda, tommy, and uncle kip trickled in over the next few days.  so after just a day, there were plenty of people to help out around the house.

here is a  picture of amanda (patrick's sister, in from atlanta) and uncle kip (in from north carolina) making chicken chili and sides for nine people:

fryin' up onion rings

we all got to spend time laughing and talking with kathleen. so the travel, the juggling, and the family conflict, was all completely more than worth it!! it was incredibly hard to leave on sunday.

i'm praying for kathleen's comfort.

---

part 2, nana:
the day we got to upstate new york (last tuesday morning), i found out that my nana had been rushed to the hospital.

her cancer (a less agressive form of lung cancer, non small cell lung canger - NSCLC) caused one of her lungs to collapse under the weight of spreading tumors.  however, she's a super spry 83 year old and by the end of the week i had news that she can still walk (albeit, with assistance).  she's been outsmarting this cancer for years now.

however, her situation is still serious, as she has many lesions on her liver. my dad flew up to meet with her doctors (one of them graduated from scripps in '79!!).  she was released from the hospital on saturday and dad helped set her up with a 24-hour in-home nurse and hospice care.

nana is now less than two weeks away from a long-anticipated trip to hawaii with my uncle, his wife, and their two small children (max and alexandra from our wedding!).  shopping for mumu's for the trip had already been completed (my dad went to ron jon's and took photos on his camera phone while my nana was on her email so she could see them and tell him which ones she liked, plus her friend came over and also helped her do some additional internet shopping). 

if she can keep her health as it is for two weeks, uncle mark is ready to hire a nurse for the trip, or hire nana's nurse to go with them.  so if nana is cleared to fly, there is still a chance she can go. 

therefore, i'm praying hawaii is in her future!

but if it isn't, then i'm going to bring a bit of hawaii to her. if she can't go to hawaii in 10 days, then i'll be making my way out to her:

1. first, i'm looking up places to order fresh-made leis near her house
2. i plan to show up with pineapple, coconut and umbrellas for [virgin] pina coladas
3. figure i'll get hawaiian bread and some kind of nice ham (she likes ham and it seems hawaiian)
4. and we'll have our own little hawaiian party

so while nana was hanging in there, it was also a tough week for my dad sorting everything out with doctors and insurance for hospice, but i am so glad he was able to get up there to help her. and i am glad that nana is back in the comfort of her own home!

---

part 3, john:
i flew home from new york this last sunday evening, but p stayed out with his mom.  first thing the next morning at 6:30am i got a text from patrick that his father john had suffered a seizure in the early hours of the morning and he was at the hospital with his dad.

really, if john didn't want me to leave, he should have just said something, don't you think?  was this an instance of john taking a stab at playing "who's the sicker parent?"  has he been taking lessons from jo's tactics circa 2008? remember when she gave her sister a run for her money by having her own liver surgery? while pregnant?? 

patrick spent monday and tuesday at the hospital, and john will still stay at least another day for testing and observation.  john should be ok, with additional medications, and whatever else is prescribed.  we know that he won't be permitted to drive for a year, which brings up its own questions (how will john get food, for example?), but the focus is on getting john recovered and home, and caring for kathleen right now. the rest will be figured out.

my thoughts are with the whole larkin family.  it's really too much to be dealing with at the same time.

march 15th

my cute husband

we've been married for two years!!  i loved year #2!  we had lots of laughs and fun times. sure we've also faced difficulties, and life changing surprises, but our second year has brought us even closer together.  i look back on the year with a huge smile and a lot of love.

a few fun d&p memories (aside from all the pregnancy-related firsts) we shared together this year:

• b&b and fish boil in door county, wisconsin
• lake geneva 
• dinners at the bristol
• adventures in louisville
• u2 concert
• our first camping trip
• and lots of walks exploring our ever-changing neighborhood

pop question, "hey patrick, what did you like most about our second year of marriage?"

"that you had to pee on six things before you'd admit you were pregnant."

"anything else?  that's kind of recent and you can look back on the whole year"

"is this a trick question?"

lauren in chicago!

look who i got to see!

lauren was in the midwest and i got to see her!  she was in oak park (which is right next to chicago, and where frank lloyd wright lived) for a few days visiting her adorable bff melissa.  when she told me that they would have a bit of time to head to chicago, i was ecstatic! (molly - we were playing it way too much by ear to try to coordinate with your drive to your grandma's, but hopefully lo will visit melissa again sooon!).

lauren and melissa came to our house, met patrick, and we ladies (+des) walked to my new favorite brunch spot, birchwood kitchen.  des was super cute and great at brunch!  he looks so much like ben these days! 

really it was just amazing to see lauren AGAIN, just mere months after i saw her last.  it felt so natural, almost like i meet up with her every other weekend for brunch anyway! and since i'll see her in less than 60 days, it's almost true!!  our worlds collided as i met her bff melissa (aka her leslie), who is cute as can be (btw, just like my leslie).  upon meeting her, i immediately remembered seeing her at lo&brad's wedding. i must dig out a photo to show you all who she is. 

i had so much fun at that beautiful wedding. and can't wait to be at another wedding with lo, les, trish, and amanda very, very soon!

week 20 pic

ta-da!  i look pregnant. now you're all caught up on my preggo photos!

i KNOW i said that i'd try for tighter clothes. didn't happen. i couldn't bear to wear the ugly butt maternity pants i got for work. and i can't find my bella band (i guess it got thrown somewhere since i haven't wanted it until now). but there is still tomorrow. however i'm posting this in case i don't fit in another photo shoot - this should at least satisfy some of you. i don't think week 20 should cause any creepy comments. but we'll see.

for the record sarah, i'm documenting here!! one day, i'll look pregnant even with a sweater on. even in a loose silk shirt. even from the front. one day, you'll see.

should i post an ultrasound video?

or is that too weird?

week 19 pic

how funny is my pensive expression?!  dork!  i don't know why i am making that face. note, this shirt is greaaaat for pregnant ladies. like trish suggested in her comment on week 18, i too think i'm going to just pop out one day.  that day might have been today sitting at my desk at work.  as i am wrapping up the day, the ONLY thing i can think of is getting home and out of these jeans. ugh.  maternity pants, here i come! she doesn't feel like a tennis ball, courtney.  i think she's showing up to the party in her beach ball costume.  maybe i'll take a week 20 pic tomorrow.  i'll do some different poses.  maybe wear some tighter clothes-es. 

week 18 pic

go ahead and tell me  how cheesy this is!

i have another for week 19 lined up to post later this week.

bundt cake

i made this with my most recent cake book (the one les gave me). it was a little overdone on the edges, but otherwise it would have been ah-mazing.  and it goes really well with tea.  come on over and we'll have a teaparty!